Loving You
by Girl Goddess 12
Summary: The first chapter in my CCS fantasy tale. Sakura and Syoaron are facing some problems.. but will Sakura be able to survive her memories or worse?


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Card Captor Sakura, or any related material to them, but I DO claim credit for this story and all ideas included in it.  
  
Authors Beginning Notes: This is one of my favorite stories by me, a CCS Story about S+S. I wrote this a few months ago, but I never really had the ambition to finish it until a few days ago. So, I present to you my second completed CCS Fanfiction.  
  
  
  
1 L o v i n g Y o u  
  
  
  
.Chapter 1.  
  
W i t h I n Y o u r R e a c h  
  
I was falling deeper, deeper into my fears. How is it possible that I could ever live up to what they thought I was? As I fell, I held out my hands before my face. They were iced over with fear and doubt, sparkling weakly in the darkness. And, I saw another icy figure, a brunette boy standing, screaming, reaching his hands out below himself. He shouted my name as loud as he could continually, believing it would save me. But it was useless; I didn't really want to be rescued. But if I thought that true, then why are empty screams pouring from my mouth? Maybe a part of me wanted my life still, maybe I still needed my life.  
  
My skirt danced about as I fell, my hair twirling in the air trying to join into the dancing, too. My hands were covered with a set of rich pink colored gloves that Tomoyo-chan had designed and made for me, hands almost empty except for the long jeweled staff I always had when I was out capturing cards. My screams were empty; pleading for life but with a blankness of regret; and my thoughts were too. I continued falling, letting my body drop into whirling black abyss below me. But whom was I failing really? My friends; Kerobarus, Syoaron, Tomoyo, not only them but also myself. This wasn't me at all! I was the cheery mistress of the Clow, or soon to be at least; not a person who thinks these saddening thoughts.  
  
I felt my icy hands melt so only my peachy sleek skin and rich pink gloves could be seen. I reached toward the boy, screaming his name. I felt his hand clutch onto my wrist, already struggling to keep his grip. I rocked back and fourth, like a baby in its cradle from how suddenly my fall was caught, my long pink staff barely still grasped in my other hand hanging below me, too weak to try and grab onto the surface feet above. But through Syoaron's struggle, I saw him smile wryly at me, his teeth clench and himself heaving trying to keep me from falling; and he spoke, his voice very stretched out.  
  
"Sakura, Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes Syoaron-kun, …Thank you."  
  
His eyes seemed to be thanking the Lord that I was alright, but vanished within the moment I started to slip. He forced himself not to let go of me, knowing this was his only chance to rescue me from this situation. Syoaron tried to pull me up to the surface where I would be safe from harm, but I fell back into the hanging position again after him failing to lift me up. I hung there, icy blue tears dripping down my face at speeds slower than a snail as a voice came from my throat, trembling with fear.  
  
"Please.. don't let go.."  
  
I closed my eyes tightly; trying to block this unwanted play unfolding before me. I slipped further from his grasp, trying not to start screaming and have a break down right there.  
  
"Why would I do that, Sakura?"  
  
His voice sounded strained but through his clenched teeth, I saw a smile flash briefly. But, still, I slipped.  
  
"C'mon. Sakura, I know we can do this!"  
  
I nodded, but at that moment I slipped until I was no longer in his reach. I started falling again, while my pink glove stayed with him, grasped in his hands where I should be; as I fell again forcing my hands upward, screaming, crying. His usually calm soft brown eyes widened with horror as he stared at me with shock as I fell again, dropping my glove and trying to grab my hand, but I kept falling uselessly. I can see us dying.. are we?  
  
"Syoaron!!"  
  
Were my last words to him as I plummeted down continuously into failure.  
  
We were in an ancient building or the sort, more-or-less a trashed parking garage with soggy walls and rusted grounds and the smell of fungi everywhere. All four of us had come here not for a joy visit, but to capture an escaped clow card and transform it into a Sakura Card. After searching for a long while, we had found the card; but it attacked with such agility I was smacked into a wall, piercing it, and falling right down the empty elevator passage.  
  
I couldn't feel my heart beating anymore, nor hear it, my thoughts were lost completely. All I could see was a weeping seven-year-old, curled up in the corner of her small room covered in a plastered pink wallpaper, hiding her head in her hands. I watched silently as the girl still continued sobbing her heart out until she could no longer feel pain and loneliness after the death of her beloved mother the angel. And, I saw myself standing there from another angle of the earth, my current age of thirteen, standing right beside her. I approached the crying little girl, reaching my hand out toward her, hesitation ruining the moment. There was a soft voice, and I saw the girl look up from her tears as I stood there shakily. I couldn't pull my eyes away from her, but she quickly ran in my direction. I tried to warn her, tried to move, but I couldn't. Then.. something occurred that if it wasn't a miracle it was surely the work of Satan. The tiny girl had run right through me! I held my hands out, studying them carefully. They were no longer glazed with black death, one covered with a torn and tattered pink glove, the other naked, but were now empty like crystalline, ninety nine percent transparent. They quickly flickered back to normal, solid and plain, then shot back to transparent every split second, I was like a projection of me, trapped in a shadowy world with hurtful memories as a cage, imprisoning me in a world of replaying pasts that you can't escape.  
  
I swung myself to look the other way, seeing the girl hugging a red headed man, sobbing in his arms, hugging him as if he could give her back her angel mother. My hand was laid upon the area of my heart, I blinked slowly, trying to destroy the tears that speckled my eyelashes. I had seen this before, this girl, her father and the tears and the pain before, forever they had haunted me, it wasn't just déjà vu.  
  
I felt like I now was being pushed back into the darkness as the light shone on the two, like an angelic spotlight, I watched as they receded away from me, the memory frozen still zooming and swooping away, pushing me with a broken pain backwards and fourth, making my mind and heart spin in unison. Pink gorgeous cherry blossoms fell upon them, and I could tell they didn't know how beautiful they were. And I screamed at the past me and my past father to forget the pain that would consume them.. and I screamed and I cried and I hollered and I dreamt of life and death at the same moment in time, like a photonegative picture.. death would be black; and white would be life. Reaching toward them , running to them, crying their names. I needed them to stay with me, to help them destroy the life consuming pain and for them, in return, to comfort me. I would approach them and wrap my arms around them and cry, too. Our cries singing a song of sorrow, harmonizing together. The notes of this sad symphony danced in the air; swirling and twirling, tumbling and bumbling about, flowing violently to the world of Heaven and into the angel's hearing, enabling her to see this vision of me, myself and my father, weaving a song and mourning, pain and loss together as one.  
  
  
  
Everything was so blurry from my tears and my loss of sight and my dark nightmares and flowing memories combining, but I could see a beautiful white creature with flaming white feathers and twenty-foot wings extended in the air as it shrieked, throwing back its head and beak into the air and bellowing cries of mercy into the air.  
  
I knew it wasn't much longer until I and the bottom level met since I must have been falling for a good twenty minuets now. But the massive bird seemed persistent and determined to save me as he swung downward, shrieking as his wispy body split in the air into tiny strokes of thin splinters, his wings curling as he dissolved in the deadly silent air. It was an amazing sight, for as he struggled he forced himself downward to me, he evaporated the more he pushed onward until he was nothingness, one with the air.  
  
And then I felt myself loose what I had been holding onto all this time, my life…  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors Ending Notes: That's where I end chapter one. Think I should continue? Tell me what you think! All opinions are welcome, and reviews are very highly appreciated. 


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